Living life as we know it now and thinking of life back into the 1970’s. Boy wouldn’t it be just “swell” to have been a member of this bunch?
I think I would have looked really groovy in a curly black wig like Jan wore when she proclaimed herself “the new Jan Brady”. I mean seriously is that all it takes to become a totally different person? Imagine having a bad day, getting up grumpy, knowing you have to go to work and be nice to people but all you had to do to make all of it go away is to plant that crop of black curls on your head. By the way, where did she manage to put that 3 foot long mop of blond hair? Suddenly you are transformed into a totally new sophisticated and popular chic! All these years of chemically treating my hair, doing my make up, dieting, etc. all for nothing when all I had to do was get a black chia pet wig. Who knew?
I also want to know why I was never invited to a “meat cutter’s ball. What exactly goes on there? Seemed like it was quite the Red Carpet event for Sam and Alice, she technically wasn’t even a Brady and never even got the chance to go after spraining her ankle! I would have had Sam put me in a wheelchair and got piss ass drunk and came home and told that Carol a thing or two about raising her own kids! I bet Alice always got free sausage though! Poor Alice, tending to 6 kids a dog, Mike and that diva Carol and all she ever got was that blue uniform and a little room off of the kitchen. Seemed like she worked 24/7. Sure hope they paid her well!
MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA! What teenage girl didn’t want to be her? All the cool guys wanted her but she only had eyes for Dr. Dentist. I guess she thought she was “all that” blowing off Charlie for that football hero, Doug Simpson! I would have taken sweet Charlie any day and gone to the pizza place for a milk shake with 2 straws instead of that big bonehead with the “girly hair” who was only looking to steal Greg’s playbook. I guess she thought he would be trustworthy while she went to get him some “pop” from the frig. These days he would have probably walked out with pay phone in the den and maybe even Cindy’s Kitty Carry All doll and sold it all for crack.
CAROL MARTIN BRADY YOU LAZY BITCH! Really Carol? You did not have a job, you didn’t have to clean your house or cook and your only job as a wife was to plant a little peck on Mike’s lips each night and wear your “old fart nightgown” Or was it? Maybe when the lights when out Carol was a tiger in bed (oh no that was their dog) Why else though would Mike work so hard and pay a housekeeper for her? Hell, most women these days work full time jobs (maybe 2), cook the family meals, wash their own clothes and clean their own houses. WTF? This hussy must have been doing something right. Please forgive me, she did sing in church occasionally and of course was involved in fighting to get signatures for the local park. I am shamed to admit though that when I was kid I remember going with my mom to the “beauty parlor” for the “Carol Brady shag” You know the one that looks like you placed a salad bowl over a long flip and just started cutting. I really thought it was “far out!”
Speaking of “far out” what about Greg/Johnny Bravo? He got the job because he “fit the suit” Then again some things today really are not that different. Think about it. Is Kanye West really talented? “I would do anything for a klondike” REALLY? Forty years later the “package” still sells in the music industry. Although Greg was quite talented. Sing along with me “CLOWN NEVER LAUGHED BEFORE, BEANSTALKS NEVER GREW….” Totally grooving to that! I think here in NYC even today WKTU would hook up a dance beat to that baby at the 12 o’clock lunch break !
All in all I still admit to watching those classic Brady reruns when I catch them and even admit to liking them too! Maybe secretly deep down I always wanted to be a part of that family way back when life was innocent.